Robert Merry, an independent stone consultant and project manager who ran his own cItompany for 17 years and now also runs training courses on project management, presents a (largely) fictional Christmas tale.

It is two days before the Christmas holidays. The stone company has one final task to complete at their largest and most prestigious job: lay a small, intricate, inlaid stone floor, using grid lines provided by the joinery company and the stone draughtsman’s drawings.

But on-site no-one can fathom why the position of the wall mounted toilet and the measurements on the stone drawings don’t agree. There is much head scratching. Phone calls are made to the stone company’s project manager. “What do we do, Mike?”

Now, Mike is scared to death of getting anything wrong. The floor is worth a small fortune and anything to do with measurements and drawings leaves him in a cold sweat. In fact he starts sweating on the end of the phone and then gets exasperated, blaming everything and everyone else. This is a regular feature of Mike’s management style, although he is completely unaware of it, preferring to think he is “talking through the issue” in a “meaningful and inclusive way”.

Having gone round in circles for a couple of minutes, Mike vaguely remembers the motivation module of the recent one-day management training course he attended. “Listen,” he says, “I can’t be there – last minute Christmas shopping and all that. You know how it is… and we need to get on. I trust you to make the right decision. Our drawing is based on their drawing. Check the grid lines and crack on. OK? Call me if you have any other problems.” And he hangs up.

The stone site manager, Tim, scratches his head. “Right,” he mumbles to himself. And then, a little hesitantly under his breath, “Crack on then.”

Tim is good at his job but, like Mike, has a fundamental fear of cocking it up. A sort or paralysis sets in until the pressure of time and having to do something to justify the day gets the better of him and he lays the first stone, square to the centre of the toilet. A huge sense of relief courses through Tim’s veins. Once up and running any previous doubts dissolve and the floor is fitted easily.

When the joinery company starts its second fix the next day – the last day before the Christmas close down – it’s discovered that the toilet is in the wrong position and the two drawings on site, joinery and masonry, have different measurements on them, thus rendering the £20,000 inlaid stone floor, manufactured in Italy and taking 12 weeks to make, useless. Not such a Merry Christmas.

Until Mike arrives, that is, cutting short his long and indecisive last-minute shopping trip. As well as the previously mentioned management course, Mike is an honours graduate of the stone contractors’ school of bluff, bollocks and bullshit.

He explains the intricacies of the problem to Rick, the main contractor’s site manager.

“Listen, Rick, the floor is set out to the toilet, right, which was set out to the drawing, which we produced and is approved. Now the joinery company has a different setting out drawing for the same room, which was also approved but must be incorrect.

“If you had co-ordinated the two drawings prior to the building work starting, the bog would be in the correct position and likewise the floor.

“Unfortunately there are now two choices for you Rick: Move the joinery by 10mm – simple; or re-order the floor at a cost of 12 weeks to the programme and £20,000.”

He pauses for effect. “It’s up to you, Rick, but I think we have to think of the programme and put this one down to experience. I know there will be additional costs for the wood boys, but surely this is preferable to 12 weeks delay and £20,000?

Rick: “Phew! I think we have to crack on. I’ll talk to the joinery company.”

Mike: “I think you are absolutely right.”

Mike is applying the affirmation technique – another module of the same one-day management course. At the same time he is backing this up by typing a “confirmation of verbal instruction” (CVI) on to his iPhone, which he sends immediately. Job done. Back to the shopping.

The floor was laid, which is more than Mike was when he missed the shops and didn’t buy his wife a Christmas present. She was unimpressed with the IOU. Still, the sofa wasn’t that uncomfortable.

Another stone crisis averted and everyone (except Mike) had a great Christmas. Of course, the joinery project manager had a slightly different interpretation, as I’m sure you can imagine.

Ah, but by then the office was empty, the phone left ringing and it just had to wait until the New Year.

I hope all your jobs are finished in time and you have a very Merry Christmas.

Robert Merry, MCIOB, ran his own stone company for 17 years and is now an independent Stone Consultant and Project Manager. He also delivers training programmes on all aspects of Estimating and Project Management – details and dates are on his website. Tel: 0207 502 6353 / 07771 997621