The Merry Month : Happy emails
Robert Merry, an independent Stone Consultant and Project Manager who ran his own company for 17 years and now also runs training courses on project management, gives his personal slant on the stone industry this month.
It was hot on the first day of the month. The government announced they were reviewing the motorway speed limit, upping it to 80mph, even though there was plenty of evidence that this would increase the number of deaths and increase greenhouse gas emissions.
Bizarrely, they also announced a £240million fund for bringing back weekly rubbish collections in some parts of the country. And Wales announced a 5p charge for all plastic bags.
The ‘silly season’ usually falls during August, when all the politicians are on holiday and there isn’t much in the way of news. You know, the stories at the end of News at 10: “A dog called Graham managed to save a whole school of children from certain death today by barking a warning of an approaching, out of control articulated lorry, that crashed through the school gates.” It was probably travelling at 80 mph.
£240million adds up to 1,000 jobs at £24k a year, 10 brand new schools or five brand new hospitals ( depending on the budget). The 5p bag charge sounds good, but why they don’t just ban plastic bags altogether and be done with it, I don’t know. Mind you, I would have nothing to wrap my packed lunch in, so maybe it is OK to have a few.
As my current job turns the final corner and heads into the home straight, light appears at the end of the tunnel and we all charge towards the finishing line. I can’t think of anymore clichés to describe the end being nigh – whoops there’s another.
As stone is the finishing trade, suddenly we are the only reason why the job is late – even though they seem to have spent the past six months putting in the M&E and running through the pipe work. How much time do you need to connect a tap? I mistakenly ignored a recent meeting which was titled ‘a flush through’. I thought it was about drainage when in fact it was a review of the design. An innocent mistake. My initial reaction was to think of some kind of colonic irrigation being performed on the site pipe work. I guess I need to grow up and attend more meetings.
As we thrash and crash around the site, growing more tired and irritated with each other, the idea of being able to speed down a motorway at 80mph is very unattractive.
I already run at 70mph through the week. I don’t want a faster life, even in a tin can with wheels. I want life to slow down. I want to be able to do my job properly, at a slower pace. I want to answer 20 well constructed, relevant emails that help to resolve issues and solve problems. I don’t want to receive emails that start with “we are very disappointed to find…” or “In order to mitigate your delay…”
I want to write emails that say “We are pleased to announce the stone will be on time…” or “Would you kindly clear the following areas for us next week so we can lay some beautiful stone, thank you.”
I would also like to win the lottery and never have to work again. I believe in fairies, gnomes, unicorns and plastic bags (but only a few), in that order.
This is an extremely silly season. I blame the weather, but the main contractor always blames the sub-contractor for not being fast enough, wasting money and not clearing their rubbish away into plastic bags!