The Merry Month : Phew! It's hot

Robert Merry is an independent stone consultant and project manager who ran his own company for 17 years. He also acts as an expert witness. Here he presents his view of the stone industry this month.

Phew! It’s been hot.

On a trip to Eastern Portugal some years ago to buy Rosa Aurora for a floor in the house where John Lennon wrote ‘Imagine’ with Yoko, I was served a steak on a hot stone. Brought to the table, it cooks in front of you on the stone. I tried this last week at home, but I just got dust and a layer of London grit on the steak.

Last month I was served an eight-course lunch in an Italian seafood restaurant in Carrara Marina.

The supplier was on a mission to impress the architect, client, designer, builder and me. Well, maybe not me. Our lunchtime, pigeon-sized London stomachs couldn’t take anymore, although as stoical English abroad, politeness prevented us from protesting too loudly.

By the sixth course we couldn’t hold back and started to giggle. It was in amazement and shock, I think.

The rest of the day was spent standing outside in hot sunshine looking at stone slabs. We were all sleepy and needed a lie down. It’s why the southern Europeans pause in the hottest part of the day and go back to work later when its cooler.

Not the mad English. We love a bit of mid-day sun. The architect was balding, like me (I comfort myself with the old wifes’ tale that it’s a sign of virility) and he had no hat. He went red. Very red. Eventually he had to sit in the shade of the lean-to in the marble yard. I don’t think the white wine with the eight courses had helped.

When he becomes too obsessed with design issues now we gently remind him of the beetroot-like look of his head on that afternoon. It’s a good diversion. Childish, but fun. Boys eh?

We all went back to Carrara again recently. The supplier ordered a two-course dinner. It was evening. We all coped and there was no giggling, though the second course was half a lobster each. Old habits die hard. I was impressed. The lobster less so.

The next day was spent combing through boxes of tiles and rows of slabs, approving, disapproving, and sympathising.

Sympathising because the block of Calacatta previously identified as suitable was no longer suitable. Optioned by the supplier, the 5m+ block was reduced in size to fit into the gang saw and it was sliced again to remove an awkward lump. Both slices revealed a light green / blue shade against the pure white stone. Rejected.

The week before the August slowdown and options running out, what on paper appeared to be a carefully planned just-in-time process now looked like a serious error of judgement.

Unpredictable and perhaps unlucky.

Over a panini and lemonade lunch we took stock. There were options. There always are. We ended up buying polished slabs rather than taking another risk with a block. More expensive in the short term but at least we could see what we were buying.

The flight home was not budget airlines (yippee!) and we were served free snacks, like you used to have on every flight, and a drink… alcoholic!

At the end of two long days I think we deserved it. The flight was late taking off. Home at 1am. Friday morning up and back at work, although by 3-o-clock that afternoon I was staring into space and not concentrating – it’s the knackers yard for me.

Back home now and it’s still hot, though easing off a little. I can hear the familiar emergency services sirens screeching through the night outside, above the rumble of London after dark.

Lobsters and panini, eight-course lunches and grit-filled steaks, free inflight snacks and alcohol. It’s a wonder how I’ll fit into my Speedos this summer.

Robert Merry, MCIOB, ran his own stone company for 17 years and is now an independent Stone Consultant and Project Manager. He is also an expert witness in disputes regarding stone and stone contracts. Tel: 0207 502 6353 / 07771 997621.